How to Support Loved Ones Who Struggle During the Holidays
The holiday season is often shown as a time filled with joy, celebration, and togetherness. But for many people, this time of year can actually feel stressful, lonely, or overwhelming. As an Occupational Therapist, I often meet individuals who find the holidays difficult for many reasons; past losses, family conflicts, changes in health, financial pressure, or simply the disruption of routine.
If you have a loved one who struggles during the holidays, there are simple and meaningful ways you can support them. Here are some practical tips to help you show you care with understanding, and compassion.
1.Start with a Genuine Check-In
A simple, “How are you doing, really?” can go a long way. Some people want to talk; others don’t. The most important thing is to show that you’re there and willing to listen without judgment. Simply saying,“I know this time of year can be hard. I’m here if you need to talk or need some company,”is sometimes enough.
2.Respect Their Emotional Experience
Not everyone feels merry and bright and that’s okay. Avoid pushing someone to “cheer up” or “get into the holiday spirit.” Instead, acknowledge what they’re feeling.
Sometimes the best gift you can offer someone is the permission to feel whatever they’re feeling.
3.Help Simplify Holiday Demands
Holiday responsibilities can feel overwhelming: shopping, cooking, social gatherings, and changes in routine. Offer support where you can.
- Help with a grocery run
- Assist with decorating (or agree to skip it together)
- Share the load on cooking or hosting
- Offer transportation to events
- Help create a calmer, simpler holiday plan
Small acts can reduce a lot of stress.
4.Encourage Healthy Routines
Many people feel worse when their usual routines disappear. You can gently encourage and support routines that support wellbeing:
- Regular sleep
- Fresh air or light activity (like a walk)
- Eating regular meals
- Taking medication as prescribed
- Using coping strategies learned in therapy
Even small routines help people feel grounded and more in control.
5.Create Safe Options During Gatherings
Social events can be overwhelming for people with anxiety, sensory sensitivities, grief, or mental health challenges. Consider helping them create a safety plan:
- Identify a quiet room they can step into
- Agree on a signal if they need a break
- Plan shorter visits instead of long ones
- Offer to be their “anchor person” at gatherings
- Let them choose where they sit to feel more comfortable
Feeling safe and supported helps people stay connected without feeling trapped.
6.Keep Expectations Flexible
Not everyone will have the energy to attend every event, stay long, or socialize the same way they used to. Flexibility shows respect and understanding.
This helps remove pressure and guilt.
7.Share Meaningful, Low-Stress Connection
Connection doesn’t always require big events. Sometimes it’s the simple moments that matter most:
- Watching a favourite movie together
- Sharing a cup of tea
- A short walk
- Doing a puzzle together
- Quiet time, side by side
- A text or phone call to let them know you are thinking of them.
These calm, low-pressure interactions can be incredibly supportive.
8.Know When More Help Is Needed
If someone is withdrawing completely, in crisis, or showing signs of worsening mental health, professional support may be important. Encourage them gently, and offer to help with the steps if they want:
- Contacting a family doctor
- Reaching out to a therapist
- Using crisis or mental health lines, if needed
You don’t need to have all the answers. Often, your steady presence is the biggest help.
Final Thoughts
The holidays can bring joy, but they can also bring pressure, noise, and emotional heaviness. The best thing we can do for loved ones who struggle is to meet them with kindness, patience, and understanding. Support doesn’t have to be complicated. Sometimes it’s as simple as showing up, checking in, and making space for someone’s real experience.
If you know someone who finds the holidays tough, let them know they’re not alone. Your support could make this season feel a little more manageable and a lot more meaningful.